All I want is to love you forever

I have completely lost all desire for MySpace, I was hoping that BlogSpot would help with that but obviously it hasn't. When I signed on today, I realized that it's been almost a month since I wrote my first blog.



Honestly, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I don't keep in touch. I'm sorry that I don't take the time to check MySpace or BlogSpot. I feel like I have lost all my friends and the only one I have left is Cody and that's only because I live with him. I know that isn't true but sometimes it feels that way. I sit at home all day and honestly I have plenty of time to check out every one's page, but I just don't; so again, I'm sorry for that.



I feel that I have let down my friends, but honestly I don't feel that it's all my fault. But I guess when you get older you just lose contact with friends and I guess it depends on how hard you want to keep your friendship and how important it is to you.



But anyways, Cody and I got to spend the day together. It's been raining all day so he got home early from work about 10am. We spent the night at April and Aaron's, we drank a little bit, ate burnt hamburgers and just went to bed. I was woken up this morning by their kids, Noah and Zoey, early as hell.



As much as I enjoy sitting at home all day. I would really love a job. I had an interview yesterday with a temp agency for a Wet Lab Tech and I have one tomorrow at Charlotte Russe. I honestly hope I get both. All of Cody's paychecks go directly towards bills, with just enough left over to put gas in our car and then we are broke again. We got behind on some of our bills when we moved. So we've been slowly trying to get back on track. Slowly but surely we are making it. Unfortunately, we've been here for two months now and we haven't been able to do anything. Mostly, we just chill here at home and watch t.v. or we hang out at April and Aaron's.



One thing that I have realized since living here is that I don't need all those material things that I once thought I did. It just isn't important to me like it use to be. I'm realizing that I really don't need anything. Don't get me wrong I would love a job so I can have the money to get something if I wanted it, but it's not killing me that I don't have money to go buy anything. I know Cody hates the fact that he busts his ass all week building houses and at the end of the week when he gets his paycheck it's gone within an hour or so. But our bills are getting paid so right now that's all that matters.



Tuesday I went on a boat tour with Carolina Coastal Studies as an observer to be a potential instructor. We went out to Masonboro and it was just beautiful. There were dolphins following our boat and I just thought that was absolutely awesome!! That day I realized that the beach is where I want to be, it's where I want Cody and I to make a life for ourselves and to have a family. I definitely know we made the right decision to move here, I just can't wait to see what all Wilmington has to offer. I can't wait until my friends can come a visit and hopefully convince them to move here with me :)

This is me....making my effort

I'm not what you would call a "blogger." I'm creating this blog on behalf on my dearest friend, Baker. (I so deathly want to stay in your circle of friends and stay up on your current affairs, my love). Even now, as I'm writing this, the words are not flowing smoothly. I have found that during my previous blogging experience, my words do not flow eloquently like my dear friend, Bake. She just has a knack for writing that I will never be able to acquire. Just thinking, if would be nifty if blogs came equiped with smooth check, it would obviously enhance the flow of blogs (or at least my blogs anyway). Just something to point...I'm liking the draft auto save feature. I don't know how many times I have started a blog or have gone through the effort type an entire blog and for some reason or another MySpace had an error and all was lost. Quite possibly a reason why I have stopped blogging.

This is also my attempt to reconnect with those who I've become disconnected with...

I have been in Wilmington for about a month and a half and still......no job. I'm not sure whether to feel happy about this or a disappointment (to my parents, that is). It's no surprise to me that I've been lazy. This is something I've been dealing with since my chubby ass was sitting in front of the t.v., snacking, and waiting for my dad to get home from work, to fix me dinner. Instead of heading outside t0 play with the neighborhood kids that lived on my side of the street. I've wasted a month and a half of not studying for the GRE, and not going to fitness center get these dimples out of my ass.

Where the fuck is my motivation???

I've emailed my resume to every lab in Wilmington and the surrounding areas, although this was done two days ago instead of two months ago, but whatev. I realized a long time ago I don't want a stupid 8 to 5 job! I hated working that when I was in Greenville and I certainly know that I'm going to hate here in the Wing. After a little convincing, I've finally gotten Cody's "okay" to head to Domino's to fill out an app. I know this might not be the greatest decision or the most glamorous job, but the bills keep piling up and it's stressing me the fuck out. Believe me this is no permanent solution, just a temporary fix.

But here me out....

1. I can make mad tips quick (I asked a Domino's girl how much she makes delivering: $60 a night on avg during non-busy season and easily $120 during the busy season) - nouf said!
2. It's not an 8 to 5 job....yuck!
3. I can become very familiar with the South Wing area (something I can not do sitting inside my apartment - while Cody has the car at work all day)
4. FREE PIZZA - My favorite!!
5. Jamison II and I can become ONE again :)

I'm still finding it a little crazy that I moved to Wilmington. I never thought I would be actually living at the beach. It's definitely something I've been longing for...never thought I would actually have the balls or a reason to go through with the move. I'm glad that I did it. I'm ready to make new memories here. I want to make Wilmington now, what Greenville was back then. An awesome place to live, great new friends (and visits from my love ones), excellent concerts, and bangin watering holes. I want to become a "local". Corny...I know, but always a dream. Wilmington is a great starter place, but there are so many more awesome places at the beach.

I'm classifying this as me "finding myself" and definitely hoping to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life.

Well this is definitely my first blog in quite some time....even if I get one comment, it'll be worth writing again.

I definitely hope to reconnect with those that I have lost contact with and dream of them being back into my life once again.

I miss you all and you all know who you are...